All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I stole a fireplace last night.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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