id be glad to
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
