Nicole vs. Life
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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