That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
