Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
