Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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