he wants to bone in the snuggie
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
