There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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