y did u give ur computer a hand job?
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
