its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
