our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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