this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
