My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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