It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
