last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize