You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
