You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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