There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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