If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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