Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
