I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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