ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
