you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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