Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize