Yo dont text me then not text me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
