Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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