Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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