He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
