They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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