at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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