So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
