they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
