Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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