Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize