Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
How's work?
Spinning.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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