I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
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shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize