I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
