If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
only if we run a train.
done.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
