Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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