Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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