I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
