I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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