I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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