Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
