Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
