Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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