girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
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