we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
