i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
