SEEEEXXX PLEASE
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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