Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
