I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
