You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
