I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize