It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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