oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
