I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
you never un-have a 4some
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
