when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
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Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize