The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Your penis caused this!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
