Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
