biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize