This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
