Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
